Entry 70, Oceans & Miles Apart (NY)
August 3, 2012 § Leave a comment
After coming home, no, not even. On the ride to my mom’s from the airport, the swarm of my first continental chapter had me engulfed in three months worth of new experiences. I found myself on the wrong (right) side of the road, and unlike the changes we see in ourselves from a monumental trip that commonly take time to appear, I was being hit with them as the plane touched ground.
My mom probably rates a reasonable 5, on a 1 to 10 scale of road rage. But even her verbalized frustration with LA traffic had me mentally recoiling to a country at the bottom of the earth. I missed Leon before I had even left. It was now met with a tinge of anxiety and the distance only magnified the feelings. What made up the anxiety? I didn’t all together recognize. But man, missing him something awful.
It wasn’t but a few days before I had the next chapter & travel arrangements organized, and I was bounding another three thousand or so miles to the big apple city. For my new readers, if you are joining this story somewhere in the middle, I imagine the trail of my destinations seems a bit disjointed and illogical. Here’s why. I fly for free. I am blessed with the privilege of having a family member who flies for a commercial airline. A very fortunate tool to my travels of which I’m very grateful. Because I cannot fly with co-share airlines, I typically must come back to the states in order to catch a flight to a different continent. Here’s what the itinerary has been thus far.
California to Australia
Domestic flights and buses within Australia & to New Zealand & Fiji
Back to the states to visit NY (largely selected so I could enjoy NY during its sweet springtime weather, study dance under one of my favorite choreographers, Luam, and spend time with a best friend)
South America (Ecuador & the Galapagos Islands, Peru & Machu Picchu, wrapping up in Argentina)
And there will be much more.
So since I’ve been in NY, I’ve been able to catch up with a few old friends as well as one of my favorites, Mila. Since I’ve been staying with Mila, I’ve been able to cook her up a couple mean meals. The rest of my time I’ve mainly divided between seeing two of my great guys, <hmmm, names> Chester & Grey. I actually worked with both of them, but in completely different industries. Happy that our friendships have survived the wake.
Grey was supposed to be my back up for a place to stay if having Sugo (my dog) at Mila’s became a landlord problem. Well, it did. Grey threw some seasoning on the wound the night I came over to his place and we found out his roommate is allergic to dogs. Thankfully, Chester, an old friend from my finance days, came to the rescue and put me up. I should have longed the relationships and shorted the career in that field.
I went over to Grey’s the other night to stretch out my photography muscles. Funny. I just realized that while my camera was nearly an extension of my arm throughout the Oceania, it’s all but gathered dust since I’ve been here in NY.
Grey hosted a private dinner to entertain some potential investors for a venture he’s looking to take in opening a restaurant with a chef friend. Dinner looked a little something like this…
It’s been Chester and Mila who have put a mirror in front of me I can’t seem to escape. I feel like all the three of us have discussed this last week is Leon.
Since I’ve been back in the states I made a promise to myself. I haven’t even absorbed the fact I’ve left my life for travel, let alone the three months (and growing) that I’ve now been gone. It’s a steeping process; like reducing a sauce. Like the reality and impact of all I’ve done is starting at my head, slowly making it’s way down through every layer. And it won’t be until it reaches my toes that I’ll know what it all means. I have a lot of respect for this process. As many things in my life that I refuse to wait for, this process I give complete space and my utmost patience.
I know I miss Leon. That, I don’t need time to know. But because I don’t trust where these feelings are coming from, because I can’t understand why I feel they’re now coming from a different place within me, I’m going to wait. I’m going to continue and sit on them until they prove to me they’re not something flighty and wrapped up in the emotional whirl of making a big change in my life. I just watched him tear down in front of me, and I refuse to be the 180 girl unless I can at least tell myself how the complete turn around happened.
Hang in there with me guys. I almost have you up to speed.